Our Change Companion

 Life is good, relatively speaking. I mean, there is still a pandemic, mass incarceration, violence against Black people, violence against my Nonbinary siblings, high costs for housing and the medications that people need for living a quality life, complete disregard for the planet, food desserts, etc. There's still a lot happening in our world- a lot of it is not good. 

I’m just saying that life is good for me, with all of the stuff that ain't good taken into consideration. I don't have any pressing health concerns. I am not overwhelmed by debt, and I can do the work I love for the communities I love. I am surrounded by a loving and supportive family- biological and chosen. I haven't experienced the death of a loved one in a while. And I just got married. I really do feel good. And that's why I am writing this little letter. Well, it has just become a letter. 

Jamie, a follower in the footsteps of Black Jesus,
To all my siblings in Southwest Philly, South Jersey and beyond, Hope and healing to you from God and this #Phillyjawn. 

I don't want you to misunderstand grief because grief is not necessarily a bad thing. Maybe it ain't a good thing either. Neither bad nor good, grief just is. 

Rather than thinking of grief as something expected when there is a change that is perceived as negative, I wonder if we might see grief as our change companion. Change, even when positive, like a new job, ending a toxic relationship, the birth of a baby, a move or a marriage, is a disruption in existing connections. And grief often accompanies these disruptions. 

It can be helpful to identify the changes you've experienced not related to death so that you can allow yourself and others time and space to grieve. Those losses also impact us. 

This is week one not serving as a hospital chaplain, full or part-time. It's a loss, albeit a chosen one. As I sit here thinking about how excited I am to continue moving into this new space, I also recognize the people and things I will miss. My whole routine is changing- and that will take some getting used to. And yes, I am Stevie Wonder Overjoyed (you've seen the pics with me cheesing all big), I am also acknowledging the grief that is present. I'm just pausing to notice and name it for myself. I didn't do that in the last couple of weeks. 

So as you go, may you too notice and name your change companion. May you imagine and cultivate rituals that you find supportive through your changes. May you not rush through the process even when it feels uncomfortable. I know you're strong. Strength is also saying “I need some help with this.” And may joy be an intimate friend. 

Also, I have no idea why I did that whole letter part. It sounded good when I started writing.